Patience, Young Grasshopper.

I might just be the least patient person you'll ever encounter.

When I want something to happen, I need it to happen now. As a result, I've faced some rude awakenings due to my unrealistic expectations about the status of my small business.

My husband and I are currently navigating the challenges of raising our child—a teething child, no less. The past few months have been somewhat discouraging, and this "new normal" as first-time parents has definitely been a culture shock for both of us. Balancing everything has been tough, and as a result, I've watched some of my business endeavors fall through the cracks. I've been filled with anxiety about where my small business goals should be at this point, and it's not a pleasant feeling.

Let’s Get Transparent

Anyone who thinks this is easy is dreaming. Juggling a 9-to-5 job while trying to create new designs for Wesley James Co., updating the website, keeping viewers engaged, refreshing content on social media, crafting email campaigns, scheduling my metalsmithing classes in Austin, updating and maintaining online shop products (MANUALLY...ONE BY ONE...which is a total pain), photographing merchandise, staying true to trends while remaining authentic as a designer, writing the monthly blog, avoiding redundancy, making endless lists of supplies, and creating a budget for those supplies—all while managing day-to-day home and personal responsibilities—let's just say that I am overwhelmed right now.

The Short and Long of It

By the time I turn around, it's 11:30 PM. I haven't bathed, the house is a mess, I haven't accomplished a single task to keep WJC up to date, my analytics are in the red, sales are down, and I haven't received a single click or visit to the website all day.

All of this leaves me feeling...simply...deflated.

Time management is hard.

I haven't cried about it yet. I won't lie and say that I haven't been on the verge, but something about crying in the face of adversity has always bothered me. I don't cry when faced with challenges or anger; things have to get bad for me to shed tears over trials. I am channeling Tom Hanks in A League Of Their Own: "There's no crying in baseball" is a life rule for me. I was raised to get up, dust myself off, learn from mistakes, and move forward.

The thing is, I have all these great ideas and plans for what I want Wesley James Co. to be, and it's incredibly difficult to help these ideas come to fruition. When you envision a brick-and-mortar shop filled with your designs, but your financial status makes it seem unfeasible, things can feel bleak. The balance between work, personal life, and a small business is tough!

Don't get me wrong; I wouldn't change my chaotic days or my son for anything in the world. I am not complaining! After all, what would Wesley James be without Wesley James Frederick Graham? He has been my entire inspiration for creating this small business in the first place!

Yet, I can't shake the feeling that I am failing him.

Maybe it's because I've hit a creative dry spell. Maybe it's because I don't have thousands of dollars in the bank yet. Perhaps it's because I haven't been able to save much from sales since the money comes in and goes out for supplies. I haven't profited much, and my inventory is minimal. But neither did Kendra Scott when she first started out, and look at her now! It took her years to achieve the success she has today.

A Pivotal Conversation

I had a pivotal conversation with my mother-in-law this evening. While we were finishing the last few episodes of Virgin River on Netflix, she turned to me and said she had something important to discuss. If she was interrupting Virgin River, it had to be significant.

By the way, if you haven't watched Virgin River yet...WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? It's amazing, and you should watch it...like, TONIGHT.

She told me, "You are so, SO talented at this stuff" (she gestured at the dinner table filled with leather and jewelry). "I know you want to create a solid line of jewelry and turn this into something bigger, but for now, I truly believe you should focus on month-to-month and holiday-related items to get your foot in the door, build your brand, and then work on creating your metals-based line. Right now, you're experiencing a creative block. It's OKAY to make the classic designs that people enjoy. Get back to the FUN and wait for the bigger picture to unfold. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to create something you're not ready for. You'll be ready for the rest when the time comes."

It's strange; I didn't say a word to her about my feelings or struggles with my small business, yet somehow...Mama Julie just knew.

Before this, I should mention that I had been praying for guidance regarding my little company. Every morning, as I drive to work, I thank God for allowing me to see another sunrise, ask Him to bless my journey, the cars around me, my friends and family, and to watch over Wesley James Co. I pray for focus and creativity while I create. I ask Him to help me TRUST that He will lead this to wherever it’s supposed to go—whenever that may be—and to give me guidance to keep the faith. I think my conversation with my mother-in-law was the guidance I had been praying for. It was God's way of telling me to take a breath, calm down, do what I know how to do, be PATIENT, and just WAIT.

Running a small business is like an episode of Kung Fu. Every day, I try to snatch the pebble from the master's hand.

I know that for a while, I will continue to come up short. There will be days, weeks, months...maybe even years...of tribulations ahead of me with this endeavor. But as long as I have the will to try, to learn, and to listen, I believe I will eventually reach my goals and that persistent creativity will begin to flow.

I look forward to the day when I can share this GIF again—when I finally snatch the pebble in this whole journey.

Until then, I think I know what the Master is telling me, and I hope you'll stick around to see it.

Patience, young grasshopper,

Lindsay